Cool Patrol - NSP

  • Published on: 18 October 2016
  • Buy the album here:

    Written by Ninja Sex Party (Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht)
    Performed by Ninja Sex Party and TWRP

    Jacksepticeye as The Kid
    Markiplier as Cool Patrol Leader
    Ryan Magee as Verified Cool Patrol Member
    Matt Wilson as Unverified Cool Patrol Member
    Jordan McQuiston, Diamond Walker, and Hunter Collins as Roller Dancers
    Zan Alda as Cow
    Barry Kramer as Camel
    Kaden Vu and Eric Radic as Bullies
    Lala Araki, Milloux, and Lindsey Jennings as Roller Ladies
    Jordan Irby, Jeffrey Minter, Viktoria Ershova, Jonathan Sapp, Christina Correa, Kassandra Corea, Pamela Horton, Vernon Shaw, Kyle Crosby, and Daniel Stonem Ali, Meredith Quail, and Amy as Roller Rink Patrons

    Director: Sean Barrett
    Editor: Sean Barrett
    Producer: Svetlana Dekic
    Production Supervisor: Sarah Williams
    Director of Photography: Gordon Yould
    Additional Post-Production: Matt Watson
    1st AC: Brooks Burgoon
    2nd AC: Jeffrey Ball
    Steadicam Operator: Bryant Swanstrom
    Gaffer: Seth Naugle
    Key Grip: Conrad Wrobel
    Media Manager: Andrew Fontanelle
    Makeup: Taja Davis
    Wardrobe: Lici Koch
    NSP Costumes: Kristen Carr
    Art Department: Kati Schwartz
    Production Assistants: Tasha Anderson, Rory Ross
    Manager: Brent Lilley


    Yo Ninja Brian, you see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!

    Hey Kid! (Yo!) You're getting picked on in school
    The other boys! (Huh!)! They say you just ain't cool
    Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) We're gonna teach you the rules
    Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more

    We are the bad boys (Oh!) from the tough side of town
    We are the Cool Patrol (Woo!) we'll turn your life around
    Those bullies (AW SHIT) their ass is done for now
    We're gonna show you how! So fuckin' listen y'all! First…

    You put your hands in the air
    And you jump off the ground
    And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
    And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now put your hands in your pockets
    And take them right back out
    Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
    Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
    This is the cool patrol dance


    Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
    You're sending all them shits a message there's a new king in class
    When they see you they're gonna freak out and piss their pants

    You put your hands in the air
    And then stick out your rear end
    And then you wiggle it real hard and you hug your closest friend
    And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Now rub the peanut butter on you
    From your head to your feet
    And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
    Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
    This is the cool patrol dance

    Cool Break!

    *synth solo*

    You put your hands in the air
    And grab a bird from the sky
    And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
    Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
    This is the cool patrol dance

    You're basically a superhero now
    So throw some cars
    Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to Mars
    Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
    This is the cool patrol dance!
  • Runtime : 3:33
  • Jacksepticeye markiplier supermega danny ninja brian cool patrol game grumps


  • IdioticGamer
    IdioticGamer   1 days ago


  • Panwitt
    Panwitt   2 days ago

    lmao so ahead of their fucking time

  • Sierra Wheeler
    Sierra Wheeler   3 days ago

    Jack didn't have to punch anyone he just had to yellBoom.Dead.

  • eli
    eli   4 days ago

    id love to know why matt is listed as an " unverified " cool patrol member

  • WonderLady
    WonderLady   6 days ago

    I love to be part of the cool patrol also

  • Bad Baby Ray
    Bad Baby Ray   6 days ago

    funny because jack now actually is kinda ripped XD

  • Kim K.
    Kim K.   1 weeks ago

    If there really were a Cool Patrol I don't know if Matt and Ryan would be in it, just saying.

  • ZachTheMan God
    ZachTheMan God   1 weeks ago

    Jeez markiplier really REALLY gets into the dancing

  • Stacey P
    Stacey P   1 weeks ago

    I would do anything to see them remake this video today πŸ˜‚

  • Splatinum6
    Splatinum6   1 weeks ago

    Where do I get those sunglasses tho

  • Cat Klutz
    Cat Klutz   2 weeks ago

    Best part of this is seeing mark do all the dances

  • Brobracha
    Brobracha   2 weeks ago

    This video is awesome, but can we all appreciate the fact that Markiplier is dancing like his rent is due TOMORROW

  • Drago888
    Drago888   2 weeks ago

    lets be honest ross had the best moves

  • smahlt
    smahlt   2 weeks ago

    I want to know who those three guys that did those sick roller skate dance moves were. That was smooth as fuck

  • JMations
    JMations   2 weeks ago

    I wonder what Mark was thinking when acting in this song

  • Average Joker
    Average Joker   2 weeks ago

    I just love the completely deadpan "moo", it gets me every time I re-listen to this song.

  • Pixl Studios
    Pixl Studios   2 weeks ago

    Markiplier adds so much comedy to the video more so than everyone (except Danny and Ninja Brian)

  • ~Froopy~
    ~Froopy~   3 weeks ago

    Here is Mark just being the goofball he is. 1:12

  • Luigipotter16
    Luigipotter16   3 weeks ago

    The cool patrol dance is all about taking LSD.

  • The_confused_triangle _

    Did anyone else forget about this and then somehow in the middle of 2021 had it in their youtube recommended and now is super happy and dying of laughter?

  • Jay Hunt
    Jay Hunt   3 weeks ago


  • Mike Viviano
    Mike Viviano   3 weeks ago

    Ok, I'm not gay but I am after this video

  • Jay Hunt
    Jay Hunt   4 weeks ago

    This song has more than likely incited at least one camel slap.

  • Eeta Popo
    Eeta Popo   1 months ago

    Didnt know stamper could skate

  • H2
    H2   1 months ago

    This song actually goes so hard for being a joke song

  • TimPlays MC
    TimPlays MC   1 months ago

    10/10 will do this to ward of bullies at collegetyty

  • r0ach.s0da
    r0ach.s0da   1 months ago

    my sister is absolutely in love with this song and shes about to turn 2! love you danny and brian <3 /gen